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kELlySmILeY2 Timothy 4:6-8 |
ноября 07 No, You'Ve Got it ALL wrong!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- " Look, i just can't be good" " You can't be good? I've made you good. Be Good!" " Argh, you.. just wouldn't understand.. " " I, God of all the universe wouldn't understand something one of my children has to say? Try me!" " It's just.. I don't know, God, I've let you down so many times." " No, you've never let me down, the truth is you were never holding me up. I hold you up with my victorious, righteous right hand & don't you forget that. In this relationship, I hold you up." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- kc сентября 07 hoMesicK..If home is where my heart is..
Then I am out of place..
If home is where my heart is..
Then I am all over the place..
I have never been more homesick than now..
kc
мая 21 fOr aLL tHe MusIcIans..--------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know it's a drummer at the door?
..they can never knock in time..
How do you know it's a singer at the door?
..they never know when to come in..
How do you stop a guitarist from playing?
..give them a score sheet..
How do you stop a pianist from playing?
..take away their score sheet..
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
..11.. one to change & the other 10 to say "I can do that better.."
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kc
марта 31 算數..阿算了一下..
185天沒寫部落格..
...想法是挺多的..但不知道有沒有寫部落格的必要...?
算了一下..
579天沒潛水了..那是1年又314天..
想念那一片寧靜 只聽到自己呼吸聲的感覺..
...都忘記氧氣筒到底有多重了.. -.-
算了一下..
275天沒坐飛機了.. 以過去10年來的生活來看也算是個紀錄..
...拿到的新護照 都還沒開張.. -.-
算了一下..
32天沒跟住在思源路345號的任何人聊過天..
...是我忙 還是他們忙..?? -.-
算了一下..
30天 沒跑步了..
1個月前還可以以每小時9.5公里的速度跑30分鐘..
現在大概跑個10分鐘就會氣喘發作..然後掛掉..
...是那多出來的3公斤害的.. -.-
假設...
平均每兩個星期在教會彈一次吉他..
平均每一次pnw都彈4首歌..
Friday LG, Tuesday Prayer Meeting, 平常emo的時間..都不包括在內..
算了一下..
一年下來也彈了104首歌..
.. 看來吉他技巧跟彈吉他次數多寡..不是正比.. -.-
算了一下..
30天沒喝奶茶了..
只能光喝牛奶, 光喝茶或光吃糖.. -.-
算了一下..
在過去的365天裡..
冷的熱的好喝的難喝的自己泡的外面買的別人送的所有咖啡加起來..
喝進去身體裡的咖啡因總量.. 恩.. 我可能當不成人瑞了.. -.-
算了一下..
新的八顆網球, 買了42天了..
只用了一次..
..而且我還不在場.. -.-
算了一下..
2009年已經過了90天..
沒有印象特別深刻的事件或人物..
好像過了13個一模一樣的星期.. -.- ...
...
...
算了...
不算了..
越算心情越差..
kc сентября 27 JuSt QuEsTioNAbLe...----------------------------------------------------
Forgetfulness is a bliss.
~ Kelly Chen ~
----------------------------------------------------
The reason being..
again.. I wish i didnt know..
Hypocrisy kicks in..
Favouritism shows up..
Bias in decision making is as clear as crystal..
Great..
I just wish I didnt know..
kc сентября 18 BLaMe on ... ??又再次中毒..
它隨著網路線進入..
一進就不出了..
原來防毒軟體這麼沒用..
但慢慢發現..
原來..不是防毒軟體的問題..
原來..問題是出在電腦核心上..
防毒軟體再高級 也救不了一個老舊的CPU..
--------
又再次中毒..
它隨著呼吸進入..
一進就不出了..
原來免疫系統這麼沒用..
但慢慢發現..
原來..不是免疫系統的問題..
原來..問題是出在 ....
免疫系統再強..也只能對付外來的.. 裡面的救不了.
--------
話說回來..
這到底是什麼樣的毒阿?
讓我頭腦不清醒..
讓我只想一個人..
躲在家裡..
休息..
kc сентября 11 ? SseL..MoDEerF..------------------------------------------------------------------------
Freedom from the known
vs.
Freedom from the unknown..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, I am experiencing the freedom from both..
..and at the same time restricted by both..
There is a lot of things that I wish I didnt know..
Innocence from not knowing is really truly desirable..
There is a lot of things that I wish I knew..
So all the miseries/uncertainties can be taken out of the picture..
but I guess..the reality is..
..things just dont work that way..
Life is just getting more and more interesting..
kc августа 31 "SaYing" vs "DoINg"As hard as I try to convince myself..
Just do it.. actions speak louder than words..
...provided that you know what you are doing of course....
Again.. with full-defeated feeling..
came to admit that sometimes or rather often..
....words are louder than actions...
It all depends on who says the "saying" and who does the "doing"..
....TOtALLy BEaTs mE....
Thinking ...and metaphorically speaking of course..
I need an enlargement of my HeARt..
...To understand what I dont understand..
...To acccept what I dont understand..
Frustrated with calmness..
kc августа 26 diArRHea tiMe...Realised I dont write as an interest anymore..
Writing isnt my first choice to express myself anymore..
I only write when I have no where else to turn to..
it's called written diarrhea time...
It's been a diffcult couple of weeks..
Unpleasant situations and problems..over and over again..
Situations i didnt create, problems i didnt own..
but ended up being the one that has to come up with solutions..
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Renewal Song..
No words can describe, how I am feeling now..
Nothing else matters, just wanna give it up..
What more will I have to do, to make each one count..
And every time I try, it's like an endless trial...
Dear Lord, I pray, for grace and mercy
To walk the lonely way..
Dear Lord, I pray, for your gental touch
To renew me once again..
Doesnt matter how hard I try, no one understands..
Doesnt matter how much I cry, no one really cares..
When it's hurting too much, I just wanna close my eyes..
Hoping things will be fine, just the matter of time..
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What about my own problems and situations??
God you wanna help me out a bit??
kc июля 23 dReAmsI have two dreams..
One dream will have to come true one day..
because I am living for it..
..and because I am working on it..
The other dream..
God You tell me..
Should I even bother to try??!?
kc июля 12 ..eNgRaVemEnt..-------------------------------------------------------------------
Find Me Here
Speak To Me I want to feel you I need to hear you You are the light That's leading me To the place.. ..where I find peace again...
You are the strength, that keeps me walking. You are the hope, that keeps me trusting. You are the light to my soul. You are my purpose...you're everything. How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? You calm the storms, and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall. You steal my heart, and you take my breath away. Would you take me in? Take me deeper now? --------------------------------------------------------------------
Slowly.. it is being engraved in me..
whether i like it or not..
before i realise..
it's all tooooooooo late...
kc июля 10 nEvEr eNdiNg..Gosh..Nothing is going right..
But what is wrong ?!?!?
..欲哭無淚...
Just when I finally made up my mind, not to hope in it..
..things started to happen..
Just when I finally made up my mind, decided to give a try..
..a phone call came..
Open doors or just disguised distractions?
已經什麼都不照自己意思做了 到底還要怎樣..
kc июня 16 PArALLeL wOrLds..Someone interesting I met.
By interesting, I meant a type I dont usually encounter with..
The type you'd prob only see on TV..not reality..
The type that attracts attention everywhere he goes.
Not too tall, but tall enough.
Not too good looking, but unforgettable.
Long hair tied in a stylish way..
An eye-catching and unique guy I must say..
He drinks alcohol like drinking water..
He smokes like breathing air.. He has an impressive voice..
The kind that when he starts to sing, would stop all conversations at ease.
The kind you'd just so concentrate on listening and forget the situation you are in.
..Not exaggerating..
He portrays such a strong personality and self image..
A diff. brightness to what i often see. He said, you gonna see me on TV soon.
Not sure.. could be arrogance or self-confidence..
Couldnt tell but I shall see.
Just a thought floating in.. What sort of people you come in contact with..
..really depends on what sort of environment you put yourself in..
..yes..I met him in a place i dont usually go..
A friend was saying..
His circle of friends is shrinking..
...now down to his co-workers..
He said, he's socially-marginalised..
..Somehow I can identify and feel pathetic at times..
..although for me..not so much co-workers..
Was looking through my phone book.
Realise.. hey.. it's all the same kind of ppl.
I want sth different.
I wanna do sth crazy..
I dont wanna be responsible..just for once..
Sadly, not sure who to call anymore..
The circle I am in.
Be careful what you are doing.
Be careful not to mislead.
Be careful how you conduct yourself..
Be careful...
Be careful...
Want to call a guy friend out..
Oh wait a second..think twice..and..the third time..
sigh..maybe not.. Is this being transformed or losing oneself?
The line is almost invisible.
Nothing there.. is a regret.
But yes sometimes a doubt.
Just realising how hard it is to have an intersection..
It's either this or that.
kc июня 13 A diFfeRent AnGLe..How do I see you?
I know..
How do I see other people?
I know..
How do you see me? I wanna know..
How do you see other peopole?
I wanna know..
Just grant me the wish..
plz..
kc июня 01 可不可以感覺累 就閉上眼睛..最近哭點真的很低..
目前個人生崖最低紀錄..
他人用兩秒鐘講的某句無心話..
旋律稍慢的某幾個音符..
書本上的某行不是重點的句子..
路上看到的某標題..
電影裡的某芭樂情節..
都可以讓我鼻子酸到喉嚨痛..
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是阿 你祈求上帝給你勇氣..
上帝是給你阿 給你機會表現勇氣...
不然要勇氣幹嘛呢?
你祈求上帝給你一個sign..
sign是看到了..
又問上帝..是真的假的??
可不可以來一個confirmation for the sign..
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什麼叫朋友呢?
最近對朋友的定義有些模糊..不太確定了..
不知道是不是上帝決心要讓我看清楚..
..我的定義是不對的..
如果是這樣..
那..我會重新定義..
但現在累了..
只想閉上眼睛...
kc мая 22 iNstAnt rEpLyInteresting..
..conversation
Saw these four words in an email..
"Declare Love Through Music"
Brought me into a deep thought (again)..
..on how not talented I am..especially in the area of P&W..oh..in all areas of my life..
..on how can I improve..
..on how can I be like someone else..
..on how I am just not sure how to do all that..
Still in the process of meditating negative thoughts..
and as a human, having the advantage of being distracted easily..
I went on to do something else..to prepare friday's lesson..
and there was the verse..
Matthew 25
~use whatever you're given and multiply them~
How shocking?
Actually.. not so anymore..
He's illogical..
--------------------------------------------------------------
Few minutes later:
Mr. S: Practise..
K: That's easy to say..
Mr. S: Just pick it up & play
K: There're some things just dont come with skills..
Mr. S: Must believe that you have it..
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kc мая 21 AnEstHEtic nEeDed..Heart-felt to a friend's msn nick..
He wanted to numb all his senses..
.. and hence my msn nick.. anesthetic needed..
Couldn't agree more..
Only if I could be numbed..
Then I dont need to feel..
Think it's only a problem for the sentimentals..
For the rest..seem to be careless..
Flipping through old diary entries..
A chinese word was being used extremely frequent..
Funnily, it only just caught my attention..
..悶..
In english, it means stuffy..
In my terms, it means life kinda sucks..
..body is acting up..
..emotions are overflowing..
..it's like punching real hard into the air but hit nothing..the emptiness..
..it's like thousand worms crawling in own body but no exit..the unableness..
Times like this, often plead to be numbed..
Hoping all the feelings will go away...
Then again, no real solution is exactly needed..
In a split second, ones' attention are redirected..
Human nature..
Just amazing..
kc апреля 19 oNe CoNsTanT..Seem to be trapped in all kinds of situations..
Countless since young.. for reasons? I hope so..
What was certained, is becoming not so certained..
What was uncertained, remains uncertained..
Tears in heart..
..arent being seen..
Questions in heart..
..arent being answered..
Love in heart..
..arent being expressed..
Dwelling Deep..
Where is it?
THE solution to all..
kc апреля 04 JuSt WaLk AcRosS tHe rOOm.." What if redirecting a person's FOREVER really is..
...as simple as walking across a room?? "
This headline caught my attention..
The truth is.. 99% of the time..
... just a simple smile, a friendly "hi" ..would make a difference..
The statistic shows that on average..
...a person can impact 12,000 people in a life time..
As shocking as it may sound, how much do we realise...
..a word that we say unknowningly..
..an action that we take unconsciously..
may have an indefinite effect on others..
I have my lessons to learn..
...then again, do we need to live so "unfreely"?
that every word we say, every step we take..
..must be carefully chosen and well-thought of?!?
Where does the line draw??
Man.. LifE is TOuGH!!!
kc апреля 02 bEing ToSsed ArOunD..I wondered...
and am puzzled...
Quietly observing from afar..
Nice and peaceful..
The more I see,
The more confused I am..
The more I am involved,
The more disappointed I am..
but None, made sense..
Complicated human minds..
but who am I to judge?
God, You tell me..
How is it gonna work out?
kc марта 27 我的第一次What a background!! 藍到不可思議....心情也跟著藍到底...
突然想上網寫寫字, 應該不會有人看吧!
剛剛讀了一篇文章,
古代人張曉風在享盡了桃花源的幸福,
比照出原籍武陵的痛苦, 卻還是毅然返回.
他說: "武陵不是天國,
但在武陵的痛苦中, 我會想起天國,
在這裡, 我只會遺忘.
忘記了我自己, 忘記了身家, 忘記了天國,
這裡的幸福取消了我思索的能力."
哈哈, 人果然不能太幸福...
要待在地獄 才知道天堂的好...
想靠這段話安慰自己, 我也可以當聖人.
唯一的不同, 武陵是他家,
台灣才是我家...XXX....
'該做的事' 和 '想做的事' .... 是不是永遠都背道而馳??? kc
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